pang gising lang tulog lahat ng forum eh!!!

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GirL: m0m bk8 sumisikip bra q 2wing nkkta q ung kLasm8 q n gwap0?
M0m: hyaan m0 anak. Hwag ka mgsu0t ng bra bukas pRa yung brief nman nya
ang sumikip!

JingOm beLs! JingOm beLs! JingOm alL the way. O daspan, Elecktrik pan, KaldEro kag
Pinggan.. hey.! advans Mery CHRISTmas!.. Don't 4get my xmas gift..

A guy stopped at a farmhouse 4 d nyt.
Farmer:Sori,we dnt hv a vcant room,bt i cn let u sleep w/ my daughtr f u promise nt 2 tuch her.He agreed.He wnt nsyd d dark rum,undressd &lay in2 d bed. Den d daughtr sed,"pls embrace me" Guy:i cnt!I promisd ur father nt 2 tuch u Daughter:Pls,I'm gettng cold! Guysigh)Ok den.
Nxt morning he paid hs bill &sed,"ur daughtr ws very cold"
Farmer:I knw.She's been dead 4 2days!

In a jampacked MRT...
Lady:Mr, ur 'Thing' is pressing my butt.
Mr: Sori, dat's my pay enveLope.
Lady: I feel it getting bigger!
Mr: It's this damn INFLATiON.

Msg: man & wife having sexman: luv, dumaing ka naman para ganahan ako
!wife: honeeyy! aahh! ala naa tayoo bigaasss! ahhh! saka pambayad sa kurryeentee at tubiggg, ahhh! walaaa naa rinnnn tayooooong mautangan, ahhhh! ibaon mo pahhhh ako sa utannnnnng! ahhh! ginanahan ka ba?

A lawyer c0nfused abt his math askd his secrtary:If i giv u $3M less 17%, hw mch wud u take 0ff?
Sec: Evrytng sir! Dress, bra, panty - all d way! (?._,?)

22l0g k na?Iba2 m0h muna ung ba2eng nksbit s kisame, itim n ang mata eh,ung bata s my paanan m0h,knkagat n binti m0, ikiss m0h n ng gudnyt.Pgbuksan m0h ung mtandang my pak2nkdungaw s bntana m0h, knina p yan.0h ung nkhga s tbi m0h, ausin m0h ang bar0ng...cge 2l0g nah...switdrims!

Alam mo? Naikwento kta sa puntod ni lolo sbi ko, ikaw ung pinakmabait kng ka TEXT, aBa! akaLain mO? sumagot.."Hayaan mo aPo, ddLawin ko sya ngayong GABI."
Ang buhay ay parang "HOLIDAY"Pg masaya ka "PASKO"Pg nagdadalamhati ka"HOLYWEEK"Pg umiibig ka"VALENTINES DAY"Pg tumingin ka sa salamin"HALLOWEEN na!"

BREAKING NEWS:Glorietta bombing solved. Two Japanese nationals arrested. Police identified them as HAKA-HAKA and KURO-KURO.

CENSUS: Mrs, ilan po anaknyo?BABAE: 13 ho!CENSUS: dami pla, d po b kyo gumagamitng condom,pills, rhythm o widrwal?
BABAE: ay hindi,TITI LNG TLGA! Hehe

GMA flying w/her family in a plane:GMA: wat if i throw a checque 4 a milli0n pesos out d window t0 make at least 0ne filipin0 hapi?Mike: but my dear,why d0nt u throw 2 cheques 4 half a milli0n each,& thus make 2 filipin0s hapi?Luli: why n0t thr0w 4 checques 4 a quarter of a milli0n each,& make 4 filipin0s hapi?& 0n it went until finaly, her grandchild blurts out:"but grandma, y n0t simply throw urslf out of d wind0w and mke ol d filipin0s happy."

Hay nako!Kasi naman! Kukuha na lang ng bayarang BOMBER eh BINGI pa ang kinuha! Ang utos ay pasabugin c GLORIA, hindi GLORIETTA! Palpak tuloy!Pasaway!

Hey, i'm selling orig. Lacoste t-shirt 4 only P150!Pero ang buwaya...Mamaak ug totoy...but dont woRi.. Tilapan man nya una!hehehe

HUSBANDay,gikan kosa GSIS..Pakita nakoako puti buhokapprove dayonakong pension!WIFE:Pakita untanimo imongOTIN parakubra pud ka disability!!

MODERN0NG SALAWIKAIN"Natuto kang lumandi magtiis ka sa hapdi""nasa kama ang sarap, nasa ospital ang hrap""kapag libog ang pinairal sira ang pag aaral""walang pangit sa titing galit""pangit man daw at maliit sa paningin, nakakabuntis din""mahapdi man sa unang tikim,luluwang at luluwang din"


New definition of Husband...That useless creature attached to the ever popular, lovable and hard working PENIS! :-)

Nindot gyudning virgin:makapadasigsa hunahuna;makapabatasa pagbati;makapasinaw sanag-ugangpamanit.I've beenusing itonce a week!VIRGINCOCONUT OIL!

Penis s dgr8estvLue meaLevrac0rdng 2d0ct0rs!bcz iths amushrum head,hotd0g,2eggs&cream 2 pr0viDenutrients thusmking Ladieshealthy.. :-)

SAKRiSTAN: Padre, may libangan din b kyong mga pari?PARi: Oo namn. Tuwing hapon, ngmamahjong kami.S: Eh, ba't Mahjong?P: Kc, d2 lng kmi nakkasalat ng Flower!

Sexy facts of life : Fate is like getting raped-If you can't fight it,learn to enjoy it.Work is like a gang bang-Ten people are behind your ass to take your place.Education is like hiring a prostitute-It needs both money and hard work.Success is like masturbation-Only your own hand can let you achieve it..ÜGud m0wnin!

Special Prayer for Gloria Macapagal Arroyo:Aba Naman GLORIA Puno Ka Na ng GRASYA! Ang YAMAN ng BANSA Ay SUMAIYO Na.Sa HUSAY ni GARCI Naging Pekeng PANGULO Ka! Bukod Kang MANDARAYA sa Babaeng lahat.pinagpala ring MANGKURAK0T, ASAWA M0'T ANAK, kayat wala ng natira sa AMEN!i-Pasa sa lahat ng pilipino..

WIFE:"Love, d memk2Log!Sex mKo!"HUSBA¡D$"Shit! iniins0mniannmn puki m?!?"..an0 plgay m stiti ko? sleepingpills? pambihira!Hala hubad! gagamutin ko!

wishing u a seductive& hornyevening,lickedbyluv&penetratedw/heavenlygraces..mayallurproblemsbeejaculatedb4 d climaxof d nytHaV a SeXY dream!Ü